Important Questions & First Post Ramblings

Why am I here? No. Not a question I expect you to be asking yourself with regards to this blog, but instead a question I asked myself. I spent what seemed like a life time starring into nothingness. You know the type of nothingness that looks like a wall with a light switch on it and sometimes has a door? No? Well its irrelevant anyway. The point is I wasn't spending my time idly while in this state of “zen", but in fact wondering what I could possibly write that anyone would want to read. To cut a long story short I fell asleep. I don't really remember dreaming, which is unusual for me, since the night time adventures in my mind are usually vivid. I did however awake with an idea for my first post. So here I am at this unsociable hour putting my thoughts to screen because I couldn't risk forgetting it. Well now you know my idea and how it came about (and I believe it's important to know the why of anything), I shall begin.

So, why am I here? First let me define here. I mean the here as in being, as in human being. Why is anyone here? Well I'm not going to go into some philosophical discussion about the ins and outs and the meaning of life, I could go on to explain my theories\facts (depending on how you look at it) but I won’t. In fact I'm going to be totally selfish and talk about me, after all it is my first ever post in my first ever blog*.

So to get to the point of answering that damn question, when I small I had a dream (not the night time type), a dream that would stay with me right up until now, and most likely until the very day I die (assuming before then the dream is not realised, in which case it wouldn't really be a dream anymore). "What is it?" I hear you saying (I almost really do, and for some reason you sound genuinely interested), well, *ahem* well, the dream is simple - I want to make video games! There I said it. No wait! Don't snicker and walk away in disgust. Let me elaborate on the why, remember, it's always important to know the why of anything. I'll try to keep this short, as I understand this post is getting pretty damn long, and if have got this far and you already read the blog description, I apologise for dragging out what that essentially says in little more than 50 words.

 To the why "I want to make video games" then. We're getting close to the heart of the post now, very soon you will be able to witness it beating in all its glory. *Remembers mental note about keeping it short*
I've played games all my life, and like many thousands of others I enjoy them. But to me games are more than just a toy or an object of fun. For me games represent so much more. Games have some sort of magical power much like a film or a book has power. Not all games posses this. In fact to few do, But those that do, can make you weep, cry with laughter, weep again, break something in frustration etc... The point I'm trying to make is games can influence your emotions, much like anything can, but at the same time unlike anything else can. It's that emotional tie to the player games have I am interested in recreating in my own. I still remember waking up in a ruined Hyrule in Zelda: Ocarina of Time and being full or despair at the mess it was in, the immense feeling of revenge I felt when I watched Hazuki Sensei (my fictional father of which the first name escapes me, I think it begins with 'I') be killed right in front of me in Shenmue, or the time I completed Phantasy Star Online with 3 other people around the world which ended in an epic boss battle with music to make your eyes water at the heroicness of it. I could extend the list with endless examples (Aeries dying in Final Fantasy VII for example) but maybe I'll do that another day. But it's moments like that in games that have imprinted a memory inside of me I likely won’t ever forget. This is the why of my dream. The why I want to make games. Not just because I enjoy playing them, but because I want someone to list one of my games in the one I made above, someone to remember, like I have, but about one of my games. If by this time you're thinking I've lost the plot completely, I like to think of it as passion, not madness (and I know your thinking only a mad person would have to say something like that!).

And on a final note, I guess I better include what you can expect to find in this blog in future posts. Actually thinking about it now maybe that should have been my first post, and that alone...

Anyway I'll be using this blog as a place to keep written progress on the game I'm currently working on (as a way to keep myself motivated into finishing the damn thing!), as well as anything else that pops into my mind regarding game development in general. My next post will be shorter I... No I won’t promise, just in case.

I'm in two minds now whether I need to thank you for reading? Thanking you would mean this post isn't actually for the benefit of myself, but of you, the reader, and by that account I would then have to be disappointed if no one ever read it. On the other hand I could not thank you and believe these posts will only ever be for my benefit. Who am I trying to fool? Of course I want this damn post read, I didn't just sit here for an hour writing it! Thanks for reading then!


Someone who thinks too much,
Tomoso

* For the sake of accuracy this is actually my second blog, but I'm ignoring my previous blog for the simple fact I only ever made one post in it.